I’m back now and uploaded something new today. Took about 6-7 days off to get my head together. I had been dealing with some anxiety issues and derealization stuff. You ever get that feeling that everything feels fake and surreal and that you don’t exist? Yeah, I got that hard to the point where I felt bed-ridden until I was able to mentally overcome it to feel like I could function again since I was a constant state of panic and felt like I was dying.

So, I’m getting back into the groove of things. I’m finding that I get a lot of anxiety/health anxiety/derealization when I start thinking either in the past or in the future, so today I’ve been trying to focus on how I feel in the moment and that seems to help to a good deal.

Yes, there are times where I still feel off/derealized, but trying to keep my mind centered in the present is what is going to help me get out of it I feel. It’s scary to feel like things are surreal/like a movie, but adding more anxiety will not help the feeling I believe and I just need to accept everything is perfect as it is

Given how much I overthink and how many creative thoughts and scenarios my mind can come with, I need to be able to control them to where they don’t feel crippling and make them work in my favor again. Which is why I believe this whole ordeal I’ve been through in 2018 is only going to serve to make my 2019 self-stronger than anything I’ve been in the past as I have a belief that this is all for something